anticipation for Torrey

i've got to be honest, at this point, i am scared for Torrey.
the theme this year is "Facing Suffering."
and i've actually suffered quite a bit in my life- and there are two things that put me in a funk- when i have to think about my past (because then i have the tenancy to internalize all of my feelings, and get depressd), and when people who actually havent suffered anything, complain about "suffering". they have no idea what they are talking about.. and its annoying for a person who actually gone through something.
so i am skeptical, but God is going support me during this time. i just need prayer :D

sabbathing.

GOD! i am SO excited for tomorrow. that i get to spend that time with you. i feel so blessed, i can tell you are preparing me for a work on my heart and Lord i am prepared.
i am excited to learn more about you, im excited to be yours completely for God you are SO amazing to me!! i am amazed, awed and overwhelmed by your love. God you are good. i cant wait to meet with you tomorrow.

Pain, Constant Pain.

you know that fun feeling after going the beach, body surfing, playing volleyball, toasting marshmellows, etc. - and you wake up the next morning, and every muscle and fiber of your being hurts?

well im SO lucky, because that fun feeling- i get every single day, because i have chronic pain in all of my joints!
:D

now that my sarcasm has subsided..
so that past week, my pain has been pretty severe. NOT FUN.
but let me say this- GOD IS GOOD.
and dont think that Satan hasnt tried to get me down! no joke, one day i was walking to my dorm and there were these girls dressed up like old ladies (weird things are completely normal in college) and they were all joking around about needing to use a cane because they were such old ladies with arthritis.
well thats the fun thing- i have all the symptoms of arthritis- so in the moment, in my head, i go." wow. im just like an old lady."
and then i thought back to my junior year in high school when i could barely walk around school for about four or five months- i literally couldnt use stairs because the pain was so constant.
and i looked back and looked at myself in that present moment, and said GOD YOU ARE GOOD. because at that moment, i was walking just fine- infact its been a good two years since i havent been able to walk for that long a period of time.
so when i can walk, i praise God. because it is great. i love walking. God is good.

included: the classic picture of my falling over in my wheelchair when we went to disneyland. good times.
and in comparison- my jumping picture at disneyland this summer :D

John 14:27

so today i was walking to work, feeling overwhelmed and extremely tired.

and as i was walking, i noticed that between each of the benches outside of the library, there were bible verses and encouraging words, so i started to read them one by one, and then i got to the last one, John 14:27

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

i dunno. i was incredibly encouraged by that- i mean, the perfect words at the perfect timing, God is good.

Resolution.

this has been a week of resolution- meaning that two people who have hurt me in the past, have come up in my life again, and have instead of hurt, have ministered to my life.

i mean, how cool is that, that twice God has brought these people back into my life to not only change my perspective, experience, and feelings about them for the better, but in the process He has also done a great working on my heart. GOD IS GREAT.

Gifts of Shoes.

so the other day, a friend from high school came to visit at Biola! and i ran cross country with this girl, and it was so fun to see her! and its funny because about a month before she had called randomly and asked what color of shoes i wanted- green or pink.. so hesitantly, i said pink, and said "you really dont have to get me anything!" and then it passed out of my mind

so when she came to visit, she brought me a pair of VANS. like wow. funny story because the weekend before vanessa and i had gone to the mall, and had both seen a pair of Vans that we really wanted, but were both going to save our money instead.. and literally three days later, i get a free pair of absolutely adorable Vans.

i dont know. its the small things- that just amaze me. GOD IS AWESOME.

New Beginnings.

so some of you know- after God was telling me to stay on the same floor that i lived on last year, that i had to beg and plead to stay on this floor. but God is good. our reaching out to the freshmen, helping with their transition into college with our years knowledge, it has been AMAZING.

i mean, understandably, its hard- im actually quite shy, so i've had to put myself out there, but slowly and steadily God has been increasing and blessing every interaction i have had with these girls, i consider it such an honor to continue to live with these girls- girls who are incredibly amazing, completely different from the floor experience that i had last year. but SO great.

and God provides, he truly does- for instance, one of the girls had her mother pass away the other day. a day when i normally would have neurology at 8 am, BUT for the first time ever, the class was canceled- allowing me to be the first one up to see her and talk with her. God provides us the ability to comfort and love other people if we are open.

and the floor experience i had last year was SO incredible, that the ability to make new amazing memories with these girls, is just a blessing and gift. God is good and His mercy endures forever.

with love, katie juranek