What God Is Teaching Me Now...

anticipation for Torrey

2009-10-18T14:46:00.000-07:00

i've got to be honest, at this point, i am scared for Torrey.
the theme this year is "Facing Suffering."
and i've actually suffered quite a bit in my life- and there are two things that put me in a funk- when i have to think about my past (because then i have the tenancy to internalize all of my feelings, and get depressd), and when people who actually havent suffered anything, complain about "suffering". they have no idea what they are talking about.. and its annoying for a person who actually gone through something.
so i am skeptical, but God is going support me during this time. i just need prayer :D

sabbathing.

2009-10-17T01:11:00.000-07:00

GOD! i am SO excited for tomorrow. that i get to spend that time with you. i feel so blessed, i can tell you are preparing me for a work on my heart and Lord i am prepared.
i am excited to learn more about you, im excited to be yours completely for God you are SO amazing to me!! i am amazed, awed and overwhelmed by your love. God you are good. i cant wait to meet with you tomorrow.

Pain, Constant Pain.

2009-09-24T11:32:00.001-07:00

you know that fun feeling after going the beach, body surfing, playing volleyball, toasting marshmellows, etc. - and you wake up the next morning, and every muscle and fiber of your being hurts?

well im SO lucky, because that fun feeling- i get every single day, because i have chronic pain in all of my joints!
:D

now that my sarcasm has subsided..
so that past week, my pain has been pretty severe. NOT FUN.
but let me say this- GOD IS GOOD.
and dont think that Satan hasnt tried to get me down! no joke, one day i was walking to my dorm and there were these girls dressed up like old ladies (weird things are completely normal in college) and they were all joking around about needing to use a cane because they were such old ladies with arthritis.
well thats the fun thing- i have all the symptoms of arthritis- so in the moment, in my head, i go." wow. im just like an old lady."
and then i thought back to my junior year in high school when i could barely walk around school for about four or five months- i literally couldnt use stairs because the pain was so constant.
and i looked back and looked at myself in that present moment, and said GOD YOU ARE GOOD. because at that moment, i was walking just fine- infact its been a good two years since i havent been able to walk for that long a period of time.
so when i can walk, i praise God. because it is great. i love walking. God is good.

included: the classic picture of my falling over in my wheelchair when we went to disneyland. good times.
and in comparison- my jumping picture at disneyland this summer :D

John 14:27

2009-09-21T13:45:00.001-07:00

so today i was walking to work, feeling overwhelmed and extremely tired.

and as i was walking, i noticed that between each of the benches outside of the library, there were bible verses and encouraging words, so i started to read them one by one, and then i got to the last one, John 14:27

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

i dunno. i was incredibly encouraged by that- i mean, the perfect words at the perfect timing, God is good.

Resolution.

2009-09-20T23:48:00.000-07:00

this has been a week of resolution- meaning that two people who have hurt me in the past, have come up in my life again, and have instead of hurt, have ministered to my life.

i mean, how cool is that, that twice God has brought these people back into my life to not only change my perspective, experience, and feelings about them for the better, but in the process He has also done a great working on my heart. GOD IS GREAT.

Gifts of Shoes.

2009-09-20T16:44:00.000-07:00

so the other day, a friend from high school came to visit at Biola! and i ran cross country with this girl, and it was so fun to see her! and its funny because about a month before she had called randomly and asked what color of shoes i wanted- green or pink.. so hesitantly, i said pink, and said "you really dont have to get me anything!" and then it passed out of my mind

so when she came to visit, she brought me a pair of VANS. like wow. funny story because the weekend before vanessa and i had gone to the mall, and had both seen a pair of Vans that we really wanted, but were both going to save our money instead.. and literally three days later, i get a free pair of absolutely adorable Vans.

i dont know. its the small things- that just amaze me. GOD IS AWESOME.

New Beginnings.

2009-09-20T13:44:00.001-07:00

so some of you know- after God was telling me to stay on the same floor that i lived on last year, that i had to beg and plead to stay on this floor. but God is good. our reaching out to the freshmen, helping with their transition into college with our years knowledge, it has been AMAZING.

i mean, understandably, its hard- im actually quite shy, so i've had to put myself out there, but slowly and steadily God has been increasing and blessing every interaction i have had with these girls, i consider it such an honor to continue to live with these girls- girls who are incredibly amazing, completely different from the floor experience that i had last year. but SO great.

and God provides, he truly does- for instance, one of the girls had her mother pass away the other day. a day when i normally would have neurology at 8 am, BUT for the first time ever, the class was canceled- allowing me to be the first one up to see her and talk with her. God provides us the ability to comfort and love other people if we are open.

and the floor experience i had last year was SO incredible, that the ability to make new amazing memories with these girls, is just a blessing and gift. God is good and His mercy endures forever.

with love, katie juranek

you are AMAZING God.

2009-09-19T23:30:00.000-07:00

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
You are amazing God
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
You are amazing God

I'm Myself With You

2009-09-19T19:00:00.000-07:00

i see you sitting there,

smile lights up the whole room

your stare is so obvious,

my every thoughts involve you.

you're the color red on my cheeks,

you're the twinkle in my eye,

you're the flutter in my chest.

i don't stop to question why..

who i am, what i want

how i laugh, how i cry,

its all a part of you,

i'm myself around you.

hm. i met a cute boy. :D

i mean, such is life- i dont know if he at all would ever feel the same way, but heres how it is:

GOD IS SO GOOD.

i've recently felt overwhelmed, not know if my or his actions are being misinterpreted, ETC.

so i've literally, on numerous occasions, sprinted to our prayer chapel and knelt before our Lord, because i have no answer or consolation other than to TRUST.

God will provide the things i require in His timing.

note: provision, in his time, and what i need- not what i want, but need.

its freakin hard. but God is GREAT.

From the Inside Out

2009-08-30T17:27:00.000-07:00

A thousand times I've failed

Still your mercy remains

And should I stumble again

Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

my heart and my soul, Lord I give you control

Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace

To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains

The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control

 Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace

To love You from the inside out

Chorus 2x

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise

From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out

Musings and Praises

2009-04-25T14:01:00.000-07:00

FIRST, because this JUST happened, and its AMAZING.

so this morning Biola had something called Sabbathing- and it was a community practice of the discipline of solitude, and so for an hour and half all over campus about 200 of us were spending time just praying, meditating and praising God.

and it was AMAZING. God showed me many, many things. (which i will tell of later) but one of them was to start reading the Psalms, with the intent of understanding their purpose as poems- their genre.. to see the beauty in them. and I just felt that I should be doing this with one of the girls from my hall, but I was hesitant to talk to her because I had no idea what her reaction would be.

but I went ahead and talked to her a few minutes ago- turns out we both have had it on our hearts to read the Psalms, and the only thing she was asking of God was that she would have someone to hold her accountable. PRAISE God! I mean... it was perfect timing, and it was crazy how God works.

and just as a note, the other things that God put on my heart were just ways of talking with my brother, who I see so much potential in, and I just want him to know that he could do SO much more- I just havent had a way to start the discussion.

He also put it on my heart to be an RA my senior year, He gave me encouragement about the decision to stay on my floor this next year to be able to reach out to the freshmen girls, He also showed me how I can honor my parents- something I have always struggled with (praise!), ETC.

Its funny, I had written out things that were on my mind, worries and frustrations.

and during that hour and a half- i felt peace and resolution about EVERY one. IT WAS AMAZING! GOD IS GREAT!

other things I've been wanting to blog about-

first off, I want to spew my thoughts about one of my friends... see there is this guy at biola. and he has a pretty horrible reputation, infact every time i mention his name, i get girls telling me "oh him, you better watch out for him."

but heres the thing that I have found. I am not stupid, I dont let guys take advantage of me- and i met him and saw a completely different person.

because what i found was that this was a person that people would rather gossip about, than actually get to know. and its a pity, because hes actually a great guy- just weird. and theres nothing too offensive about weird. :D

and the money. at the beginning of this week, i found out i was 500 dollars short of paying off some debt. and i dont have that kind of money! and ive grown up relying on my own strength... but i've been working on that- and so i decided i was going to leave it up to God to find that money for me- and He did! He found that money, and i didnt have to do a thing. it was AMAZING! like for reals, the money came out of no where. and it was all God. Praise Him!!

so thats me for now :D

Slumdog Millionaire and The Reader

2009-04-16T12:19:00.000-07:00

So since I knew I was going to be on spring break, I decided to get a few movies from netflix! and these two apparently were at the top of the list, and I truly enjoyed both of them, but for different reasons.

Slumdog Millionaire is definitely one of my favorite movies now- it was INCREDIBLE. I seriously love every second (except the poop child) but wow. i was seriously crying throughout the thing.. its so GOOD!!

And The Reader, I still don't know exactly what I feel about this move, but i do know it was interesting to view things from a different perspective, so thats what i liked about it.

those are my responses :D

God bless, Katie

My Testimony.

2009-04-13T20:29:00.001-07:00

I figured it was about time to write this thing out... especially since i've told it like three times this week.. so i've kinda narrowed down what is actually important,..

ok, well i break my testimony into two parts- my childhood and last year:

My Childhood

when I was five years old, my brother was diagnosed with autism, and immediately my families focus because focused around helping my brother! so basically, my childhood was spent focused around helping my brother- when all the other kids would be playing in their backyards, i would be in doctors offices, or school offices- for meetings for my brother. that was my childhood, i had to mature WAY sooner than basically anyone my age. but some people have that type of life, and that was me.

Last Year

the summer of last year started with my having run cross country for three years, but within that last year i had developed chronic pain in all of my joints- resulting in my having to quit the cross country team. and that was first part- i lost my cross country family, the people i ran with everyday didn't know what i was going through because they didn't understand the pain i was going through. and i had four best friends, and that summer one of the girls spent the entire summer not talking to us, but just talking to this guy- and from there on out we all fell apart. the girl closest to her left to hang out with another group because she couldn't stand to be ignored, and another one of the girls just had different priorities. that was the second part- i lost my closest friends. then my parents started to push me around and i didn't feel safe at home. i didn't feel safe at school, i had no one to turn to. and i was angry- angry at God that i had pain 24/7, i was SO utterly alone and i didn't have any answers to why this was happening to me.

then my grandmother, who was the inspiration for my life, suddenly died. and i was completely grieved... and the day that i got back from alabama for her funeral, i was at school and long story short- i ended up in the hospital because of chest pain, finding out that my lung had collapsed. so the next day after i had "surgery" to get that lung repumped and the doctor comes in the next morning to explain that the reason my lung had collapsed in the first place was because all signs pointed to a disease called Marfins Syndrome, which has the possibility of killing you at any second, was the cause of my collapsed lung.

So all in one year i lost EVERYthing that mattered to me, i had nothing to rely on- no friends, parents, health, or anything.

This Year

when i looked back this summer at everything that happened last year, i realized something.

growing up- i had to mature early, i had to learn to rely on my own strength.

and at the beginning of last year, i had prayed while i was up at Hume Lake, that God would allow me to learn to rely on Him, instead of myself. because at the point, i literally had way of even conceiving how to rely on anyone else other than myself.

And what I've learned this year, more than anything, is that God allows us to understand Him when we are most able to understand Him.

See, I learned more than anything this past year how to rely on God- i learned this because literally EVERYthing was taken away from me. and although it was ridiculously hard, it was worth it.

and I've learned so much about God this year, only because it is the time when I will understand it. for example, I've seen how my running cross country gave me the endurance to prepare me for the pain i have every day. running cross country was the only way that allowed me to be prepared for this. and its just SO incredible all the things that God has provided. He is good.

I hope that made sense. its a VERY short edition of my story. but the only thing you need to know is that God is GREAT.

Then Job replied:

² "How long will you torment me

and crush me with words?

³ Ten times now you have reproached me;

shamelessly you attack me.

⁴ If it is true that I have gone astray,

my error remains my concern alone.

⁵ If indeed you would exalt yourselves above me

and use my humiliation against me,

⁶ then know that God has wronged me

and drawn his net around me.

⁷ "Though I cry, 'I've been wronged!' I get no response;

though I call for help, there is no justice.

⁸ He has blocked my way so I cannot pass;

he has shrouded my paths in darkness.

⁹ He has stripped me of my honor

and removed the crown from my head.

¹⁰ He tears me down on every side till I am gone;

he uproots my hope like a tree.

¹¹ His anger burns against me;

he counts me among his enemies.

¹² His troops advance in force;

they build a siege ramp against me

and encamp around my tent.

¹³ "He has alienated my brothers from me;

my acquaintances are completely estranged from me.

¹⁴ My kinsmen have gone away;

my friends have forgotten me.

¹⁵ My guests and my maidservants count me a stranger;

they look upon me as an alien.

¹⁶ I summon my servant, but he does not answer,

though I beg him with my own mouth.

¹⁷ My breath is offensive to my wife;

I am loathsome to my own brothers.

¹⁸ Even the little boys scorn me;

when I appear, they ridicule me.

¹⁹ All my intimate friends detest me;

those I love have turned against me.

²⁰ I am nothing but skin and bones;

I have escaped with only the skin of my teeth.

²¹ "Have pity on me, my friends, have pity,

for the hand of God has struck me.

²² Why do you pursue me as God does?

Will you never get enough of my flesh?

²³ "Oh, that my words were recorded,

that they were written on a scroll,

²⁴ that they were inscribed with an iron tool on lead,

or engraved in rock forever!

²⁵ I know that my Redeemer lives,

and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.

²⁶ And after my skin has been destroyed,

yet in my flesh I will see God;

²⁷ I myself will see him

with my own eyes—I, and not another.

How my heart yearns within me!

²⁸ "If you say, 'How we will hound him,

since the root of the trouble lies in him,

²⁹ you should fear the sword yourselves;

for wrath will bring punishment by the sword,

and then you will know that there is judgment.

Answers at the Right Time?

2009-04-12T16:07:00.001-07:00

Something that the Lord has truly been teaching me this year is that in exactly the right time, God will provide the answers for my troubles... and what's amazing to me is not merely that He will provide answers, but that He will provide answers when we will be able to understand it the best.

For instance, sometimes we are at a place in our lives when bitterness overwhelms our logic about a certain situation. For example- my seeing how cross country prepared me to endure the pain that I go through every day- that is something that even a few months ago, if i had heard it- I would have just become bitter, versus overjoyed :D

so I think something that I have been in awe of is that God gives us that insight when we are best able to comprehend and understand it... and thats pretty cool.

sometimes being patient in annoying, but its worth it :D

God is good.

Answers at the Right Time?

2009-04-12T16:07:00.000-07:00

so I think something that I have been in awe of is that God gives us that insight when we are best able to comprehend and understand it... and thats pretty cool.

sometimes being patient in annoying, but its worth it :D

God is good.

Preparation.

2009-04-12T15:45:00.000-07:00

The other night, Lynette's amazingly kind mother took us to go get massages! and at first we were hesitant because we didn't know how it would treat my body because of my pain... but the thing that struck me from our conversation that night, as I was explaining the pain I was going through, was my past experience with cross country. Lynette's mother commented on how I've built up endurance because of it, and that is so true! and looking back, doing cross country was God's way of preparing me- see I have pain in my joints, all the time- and if I hadn't done cross country, I wouldn't be able to endure the pain that I have every day..

and its rare that someone could look back at the story I am presenting and feel happy. but I do. I feel overwhelmingly joyful, because I see God's provision for what I need. Although I am in pain, He in a way has made it livable for me.

and that is great.

God is great.

Abortion?

2009-04-12T12:19:00.000-07:00

I just got back for Spring Break, and I'm cleaning out my room to get it ready for the summer... and I have a LOT of random crap to throw away! and I have some pamphlets that some crazies were handing out at Biola, and even though these people always annoy me, they had one quote that struck me deeply:

"One week after you miss your first period, your baby's developing heart starts to beat."

Meaning by the time you figure out whats happening to you, your baby is has a heart beat.

That is incredible.

and for me, that answers whether or not a woman has a right to choose, because that is a little person in there. and its helpless, you really dont have the right to choose whether or not its convient enough for you to keep it, because its murder. it really is.

Oh wow.

2009-04-10T11:18:00.000-07:00

So I found out, that the baseball player that was tragically killed on wednesday night, was actually coming to the club where i was linedancing, because the car crash was right outside of the club, and so when we were trying to leave, we had to find a way around- but we didnt connect the dots until later.

and its just a really tragic story that this kid, who was so young, passed away from a drunk driver... thats just so sad... and it was crazy to think that it was RIGHT there... like in the picture i posted- in the background of that scene there are lights from the ambulances.. its just sad.

7061/8000

2009-04-10T10:22:00.000-07:00

Written Friday night:

I have a friend in one of my bible classes, and we had gotten to know each other by talking from time to time in class, but I still didn't know him too well. But yesterday he said something that made my day...

See he asked me how my week was going, i just said "ok... it was fun, and stressful, but great...."

and his response shocked me because it was overwhelmingly positive and happy.

he said "This week was great, I saw time and time again that God was putting things in place in my life, He was providing for me. it was a great week."

and I looked at him, with an honest expression of shock, and I said, "That was truly inspirational.... you know, i think my week was the same way, I just didn't have a good way of putting it into words."

Then he asked, out of 8000 what I would rate my week, and my response was "7061..."

It was a great week. God did provide answers, I had a lot of hard decisions to make this week, but He was there with me, presenting the right answers, He made my week easier for me, so that I was able to have fun at the same time.

God is good. God is GREAT!

and I'm glad God gave me the opportunity for me to look back at my week, and see Him in every step of the way. Because I think far too often we don't stop to look back. We don't stop, and therefore we loose sight of all that God is doing in our lives.

God is great!

My Life in Linedancing.

2009-04-10T10:18:00.000-07:00

This last summer, one of my good friends, Patricia, converted me to a particular type of dancing... called line dancing. Now previous to this conversion, I was VERY cynical of it- thinking it was lame and dumb. Which I told her, and my other friends who go out every week to the club and dance!

... but then I tried it, and was annoyed to find it was really... really fun! So yes. Now I'm a line dancer. I pretty bad at this point, but oh my gosh.. we have so so so much fun!!

So if any of you are cynical as I was, give it a chance- you'll have fun, I promise :D

Forgiveness.

2009-04-07T20:25:00.000-07:00

Today at work the girls and I were talking, and one of the girls was studying for a bible memory quiz, and the verses she was having to memorize were talking about how great the forgiveness of sin is! and i started to think about it, and just how amazing it is that God forgives us. and even beyond that- that there isn't some hierarchy of sins- a murder is just as sinful in the eyes of God, as is my white lie. and i know, most people are repelled by that idea, but in fact, it is quite an amazing concept because imagine, if there was a hierarchy of sins, how differently our world would run... the lies that people would live- that we would never be "equals"... that doesn't live by the human standards... we would always say that a murderer deserves to die, but God is greater than that. and although we dont have the mercy to forgive those people, God does. the lesson is that we are no greater than they are, we are just as guilty. think about that..

so i presented my thoughts to the girls, and they added on that the one position that does have more severe consequences are those people in leadership. if you are a leader of a group of people, and you commit a sin- that is something that is a degree worse. its according to the impact your action has on other people that it is judged. and i think that is interesting... it is so wise that those in leadership are held to a greater standard. God is wise, just, and merciful. just some thoughts :D

God bless, Katie

Lent, Emily and Reviews.

2009-04-06T19:51:00.000-07:00

Lent- for lent i decided that i was going to work on how much i allow media to fill up the noise in my life. when i am walking, i tend to put my ipod on, or if i'm writing a paper, i put a tv show or movie on. and so i was slowly coming to realize that all this noise that i add into my life, doesn't give the silence needed to allow God to speak to me. and so when people kept coming up with things for Lent, i decided i wanted to work on this issue. and i was just thinking about it today, because i definitely fell back into distracting myself, but i think its something i will have to work on for the long term because its a valuable lesson to learn.

Emily is one of my coworkers, and a few of her friends, all contributed to get me a gift basket a few weeks ago. it was just to encourage me because i had told her about the health problems i had been going through. like i barely told her anything, i just quickly updated her because i was getting off and she was starting work, and that in those few details God moved her enough to give such a generous gift. it was amazing! it was SO kind, it had popcorn and a movie and candy and magazines and chocolate and sooo much more. like it was amazing.. i cant even express what a blesssing and encouragement it was to me. and i was just thinking about it again today.. i mean its been weeks, and i still feel extremely blessed by that gesture.

and every so often i'll write a movie review, or a review of one of the many tv shows i watch- so here it is.

today i got "The Last Kiss" in the mail from netflix. and i was pumped. Zac Braff was deeply involved in this film, and being a Scrubs fan and a fan of his, i was super excited. and its not only him- casey affleck and tom wilkinson- like legit actors were in the film, it seemed like it was going to be a great one. and i got about ten minutes into it, and within that time i had to skip about five different sex scenes? and thats #1. just completely unnecessary and #2. awkward. and i was really just disappointed, i was tired of what seemed to be an entirely trashy film, so i stopped watching it.

and yes, it may be unfair to judge the movie since i didnt watch... well, any of it. but i think hollywood needs to stop putting sex in movies. there are movies for the public and porn, lets keep those separate and not mixed, because if i'm going to see a movie, i dont want it to be potentially traumatizing and awkward! plus, i think its fair to say that it doesnt add ANYthing to the film! it really doesnt. it just takes away from it.

but in a more positive light, one of my favorite tv shows, extreme makeover home edition, has just done so many wonderful things all these years, and i think its just an incredible thing that they do (i secretly would LOVE to work with their team somehow...) but i digress.

i just wanted to write about how great the show is, this last week they helped out a family whose father had died, leaving the mother and three young sons to fend for themselves in a house that was literally caving in. and it was SO sweet and just heart wrenching- the wife was clearly still in love with her husband, and her three sons had no father to look up to anymore! and it just was so sad to see...

and they just brought so many of the plans that he had wanted for his family, to reality- they not only built a house for them, but in so many ways finished many of the things this man had wanted for his family. it was beautiful and just so sweet. i think organizations and shows like that should be supported completely- because they are rare and wonderful.

Something I Desperately Want to Do...

2009-04-06T11:57:00.000-07:00

pretty much everyone has seen my shiny, glittery Toms. and this is what it is all about:

http://friendsoftoms.org/

Our Focus

Podoconiosis (Podo):
A debilitating disease that causes extreme swelling, repeated ulcers, and deformity in the feet and legs. Podo is 100% preventable with shoes!

"You Aren't Following God if You are About to Shoot Your Pastor..."

2009-04-06T10:31:00.000-07:00

Today in chapel we had a speaker who had taken a seminary in South Africa and made it into a liberal arts university much like Biola, just in the past three years! and he was telling us a story about how some child soldiers (as explained in the Invisible Children films), stopped this pastor on the side of the road, and threatened to kill him if he didn't give them cigarettes.

and his wise response was "young man, i am not afraid of dying, because if you kill me i will go to heaven and be rejoicing, but do you know where you are going?"

and the boy responded "i went to church when i was younger, i am a Christian!"

and the man responded, "you are not following God if you are about to shoot your pastor..."

and that whole conversation cracked me up. of course in a very morbid way, but it was just funny!

and then it continued to be on my mind, and i think that even this story can be applied to our lives, i think that too often people can claim that they "go to church and therefore you know.. i'm a Christian!"

but really, going to church doesn't mean anything if you don't have a relationship with the Lord! without acknowledging that God is pursuing you, and pursuing Him back, you aren't a Christian. you aren't saved.

its not often that i am so bold to tell people that they could go to hell, because i don't want to scare people! but just because i don't have the bravery doesn't make it any less true- if you don't have a relationship with the Lord... you should talk to someone- there are Christians in your life that would love to share their testimony and just talk with you, no pressure, just to talk about God. thats the first step.

God bless, Katie

Being Used by God.

2009-04-05T22:02:00.000-07:00

so I'd like to humbly say that God works in my life- that He gives me ideas of ways to encourage the people around me... so this last weekend i wrote some notes to all of the girls in my hall, i wrote Bible verses out and decorated them with glitter and put them outside of all of the rooms anonymously.

and i had written out the verses and then let whichever one be put in the envelopes that God wanted to be given the particular girl! (so i didn't look and just stuffed them)

and i had handed them out, and this evening my roommate came back from her day and explained some of the things that had happened to her, and its funny because afterwards she read the verse, and it perfectly applied to what she was going through. like perfectly. it was amazing. God works in mysteriously ways.

I just wanted to share that story because its great to see how God uses us to encourage people beyond our ability, by ourselves we would never be able to accomplish something like that... but by relying on God to accomplish things, and not ourselves- its amazing to see the things that happen :D

Little India

2009-04-05T18:55:00.000-07:00

It's funny, God has brought India into my life in many, many different ways this year.

First my crazy friend from high school, Chris Yim, who brought me SO much laughter my first semester- and he is a missionarys kid in India, so he would tell me all about the annoying baboons. and I quote: "i feel like a monkey who got a mango from my mango tree..and to get a mango from my tree is hard! cuz im shoot them." and he would also give me great dating advice... and I quote: (i was explaining how i learned some traditional indian dances during a chapel), and this is his response: "u can seduce your future lover with those moves"

and i digress.

So there was Chris, and then one of this friends, Matt whom I met at a party, and he also gave me some insight into India.

and then I bought Bride and Prejudice, so I got a good taste of Bollywood movies...

Yeah, it doesn't sound like much :D BUT then we had missions conference at the wonderful Biola University, and a few of the girls from my hall and I traveled to Little India to experience the culture!

and here are some pictures:

while we were there we tried food (the samosa was AMAZING!!!) and we talked with the owner of the restaurant, and just learned a lot there about their culture, it was absolutely fascinating! and so we decided that we wanted to minister to the owner of the restaurant and her family because they were just amazing people! so we've gone back there again to get henna, and try different foods.. its definitely one of my favorite places, and God is just really working through our little group... its quite cool to see :D

and then the possibility of going on a missions trip to India arose, and I just saw that all of these instances over the past year has prepared me for this opportunity. God is good. and so thats just something that I wanted to share, sometime we dont see the big picture about things, but God is working- the restaurant owners have offered to let us borrow more Bollywood movies and offered to take us downtown to buy some dresses to be able to go to their festivals where they dance for nine days. I am SO freakin excited. God is working and letting us be involved in this culture that is just beautiful, it is an incredible opportunity to be involved in. God is good.

The Debate Continued...

2009-04-05T17:28:00.000-07:00

So my update from today, so I have been reading "Angels and Demons" for the first time, and its funny that the chapter I was reading today applied directly to my thoughts about the debate yesterday (read the post directly below this one).

In this section of the novel, the chick is asking the main character about whether or not he believes in God, and his answer is this:

"I want to believe... its not that easy, having faith requires leaps of faith, cerebral acceptance of miracles- immaculate conceptions and divine interventions. and then there are codes of conduct. The Bible, the Koran, The Buddhist scriptures... they all carry certain requirements- and similar penalties. they claim that if i don't live by a specific code i go to hell. I cant imagine a God that would rule that way. "

"I hope you don't allow your students to dodge questions that shamelessly.."

The comment caught him off guard "What?"

"Mr. Langdon, I did not ask if you believe what man says about God. There is a difference. Holy scripture is stories... legends and history of men trying to understand his own need for meaning. I am not asking you to pass judgment on literature. I am asking if you believe in God. When you lie out under the stars, do you sense the divine? Do you feel in your gut that you are looking up at the work of God's hand?" (page 108-109)

And I feel this interaction is very similar to the one that we saw yesterday at the debate- similar to the main character, a renowned scholar- our renowned Atheist didn't have any real answers, just dodging of the question. and I wish he could have been challenged this same thing- that when you look at the night sky, don't you for a second even consider the possibility? Now of course just wondering doesn't make it a fact for you, but its the start.

Atheism versus Christianity?

2009-04-05T15:03:00.000-07:00

So yesterday Biola University, my college, hosted a debate between Christopher Hitchens (a world renowned Atheist), and one of our professors, William Lane Craig, who is a renowned author and philosopher.

My attitude coming into the event was of indifference, I didn't know what to expect, and i didn't know how it would play out. But quickly I came to realize this was huge- the police were at all entrances/exits, there were news reporters, camera and interviews going on. It was huge.

Then I saw there was a group of Atheists in the crowd who were proudly wearing shirts that said "We are your friendly neighborhood Atheists... Believe in science, not superstition." So I decided then and there that the people to watch were these Atheists in the audience, because their facial expressions would be the most entertaining (if we're being honest with ourselves)

Basically, the debate was ridiculous, and let me first explain myself- I am a very honest, practical person. I am intellectual, and I don't accept things blindly- including my religion. I am a Christian not because of a whim, because I felt a compulsion, or because of the environment I grew up in. I am a Christian because Christianity is true historically, intellectually, logically. I love my God because my foundation for my faith is solid, and from that comes my relationship with God.

So when I say that this debate was ridiculous, its because it was. It was ridiculous because a world renowned Atheist came to a debate just to explain his bitterness.

He didn't explain the topic for the debate- whether or not God exists, instead he just bitched! And I know, bad language- tsk tsk. but its just what it was, this man went up and just explained his bitterness against religion.

And his position is understandable, religion has done some pretty horrible things, but for a world renowned Atheist to hold just to the "arguments of a bitter man" is pretty pathetic.

The one thing that stood out to me though was one of his contentions that Christians, if we truly believe in a heaven and hell, don't actually live like it. That if asked if we would rather be a leader in this world, or the next, that we would ALWAYS say the present. And he's right- we are terrible at living with an eternal perspective! And the atheist group (which was 1/3 of the crowd) all clapped enthusiastically at this point. Which tells me two things, that they agree, and they agree because they have been presented a wrong idea of the church. And I'm positive this idea was from the hypocrisy of the church today, and so its understandable. But its sad. It's sad to see this affect the Churches disobedience should be the "arguments" against the existence of God.

We have been doing a horrible job of representing our Lord! We need to step up and live with an eternal perspective! That is the main lesson I got from the debate, and I hope it stuck with many in the crowd too.

first impressions.

2009-04-03T19:23:00.000-07:00

julia nunes is amazing. the end.

hello, whats your name, how are you
they see my smile, my laugh and the hurt behind my eyes
loss is not so easily disguised

I'll try my best to keep on with my sunny disposition
but I close my eyes and end up remunising
so save me from waking up tonight, save me from waking up tonight
'cause I toss, and I turn and it doesn't feel right
save me from waking up tonight

left to my own devices
i'd stay up till 3 am
spend the whole day barely awake, and then do it all again
'cause my dreams are filled with pleasant trees that make me think your here with me
they won't let my poor heart mend

i have tried my darnedest to continue smiling wide
but I miss you and thats something I can't hide

so save me from waking up tonight, please save me from waking up tonight
i thought I was fine, but it looks as if I might not make it through the night
so save me from waking up tonight, please save me from waking up tonight
'cause I toss and I turn and it doesn't feel right
please save me from waking up tonight

Freedom. Relationships. Friends. and the Biola Ratio.

2009-04-03T17:48:00.000-07:00

Written last night:

Tonight was an amazing night. but I have no need to explain, all I need is to explain the profound idea that entered into my life in the last hour.

I attended our campus' Social Justice Ministry, and at the meeting we had several speakers from different organizations come, and one of the men that spoke asked us, if when we walked into the room we had calculated where all the exits were. And of course we all hadn't even considered the idea. He explained how in our comfortable culture, we don't understand fear. We don't understand being trapped.

This got me thinking- this entire week, all our chapels and special events have been dedicated to Human Trafficking which is something that I am passionate about dissolving. And this speaker was right, we aren't able to understand what fear is like. We don't think to have an escape plan, unless we are Jack Bauer... and to think that children consider this every time they enter a room... but they enter with the knowledge that they can NEVER escape. that they are trapped... that just breaks my heart.

One side note- the Natalie Hollaway story that was huge a few months back- its finally coming out that she was sold into slavery. Talk about bringing it to light, but the stupid media hasn't done anything with that truth.

I'm going to be writing in this blog because I've found that EVERY day here at the AMAZING Biola University, God teaches me something. God is amazing.

Every day I am challenged by something, by the people around me, by professors, by God.

Just today, I was in my favorite class- Old Testament, and my professor, who is a great man of God was telling us about Judges. And he commented on how God used the Israelites falling away to test them. This isn't testing them in an evil, deceptive way... God was testing His people in order to see their dedication to Him. He set out commands, and wanted to see how faithfully they could stick to them.

The reason why I actually loved this explanation of God's purpose, was because as a reader of the Old Testament, I can see God's purpose written all throughout the text. In this situation, God was testing the people to see His dedication- BECAUSE they were His chosen nation! If they couldn't be faithful to Him, who could?

And that sounds all nice and jolly, but then I started to consider Job who was put under trial, when God already know his faithfulness! I asked my teacher the purpose in this testing, when it seems completely unnecessary from our viewpoint. And he explained how Job's testing was to further and deepen his relationship with the Lord.

So that left me with two explanations for struggle- in response to our blatant disobedience of God, or because God is seeking to deepen our relationship with Him.

And that seems pretty decent to me- that either we are getting the response to our sin, or that God is seeking us. US! That is incredible. We in NO way deserve that. I just found that to be incredibly encouraging when I look back at my pain and ask God for answers- He has given them. All throughout that time, He was working in and through me for our relationship to grow. And although it was INCREDIBLY difficult at the time, I appreciate seeing that God was doing it for me.

Two days ago, I went with a few girls from my hall to see “Bride Wars”, and I really, really liked the film. But one girl from the group didn’t, and I think the reason why she didn’t was that she couldn’t really relate to the film. The film portrays two women who are best friends, who end up fighting with each other.. and I don’t think you can understand the pain that these two girls are going through unless you’ve gone through it yourself.

Last year was one of the worst years of my life, for many many reasons, but one thing that stands out is how hurt I was by the people around me. And in this movie, I saw that pain and I could understand it. And after the film was over, I just was thinking about it- that the pain these two women had from being apart, that friendship is invaluable. Although they did some very petty things in the past, there is forgiveness possible.

Now for something funny.

So I have a theory after being at Biola for a few months now- for every attractive guy, there is a girl that he likes, there are at least three girls that have known him for a while and have a secret crush on him, and there are least 20-30 girls that have seen him around and secretly think he’s attractive. And these are VERY conservative estimates.

But you get the idea- at Biola every girl is an early age cougar- they are crazy about men. And therefore, pretty much every guy I have met either is freaked out, or “subtly” hint that they aren’t looking for anything and are annoyed by all the overbearing girls.

And it was kind of funny, last week I saw one of my guy friends, and a few friends teased me about it, noting how his face “lit up when he saw you.” At this point, I rolled my eyes and explained to them “he is just a guy friend…” and its funny, they couldn’t quite grasp that idea. But you know.. those are girls for ya.

And the reason why I bring this up is that the guy, apparently, over heard my comments and was offended. So let me tell you men:

You cannot dish it out, only to be offended. Enough is enough. I realize there is this great “Biola ratio” that incredibly works in your favor- but if you are going to be telling us girls to back off, we can do the same. So there. :D Understand both sides of the story.

Haha. Well thats it for today. We'll see what God has cooked up next for me to learn :D

God bless, Katie